DTF, what’s it all about?
Does it ever seem like online dating sites are half written in secret code?
It can be hard to keep up with all the slang, references, and abbreviations.
Plus, you want to be able to use the right ones yourself in order to find the people who are most likely to be into the things that you are looking for, too.
One that will show up a lot, especially on hookup sites and apps, is “DTF.”
Whether you are looking for something casual and NSA (that’s “no strings attached”) or whether you are looking for something more serious, it’s a good idea to learn what this means before you swipe.
In short, DTF stands for “down to fuck.”
Typically, it means a willingness to meet and have sex immediately, without the niceties of a coffee date or a drink beforehand.
Often, the meeting will be at one or the other person’s house or hotel room.
That said, some people prefer to meet briefly in public first for safety.
However, DTF can also be a description of a general state of mind.
You may, for instance, head out to the club one evening looking specifically for a hookup.
Your ideal partner for this would be someone who is DTF and not someone solely focusing on meeting people with the intent of entering a relationship.
Subtleties show up in definitions from around the web.
On Urban Dictionary, this is the current top definition:
DTF: Abbreviation for “down to fuck”
Examples on Urban Dictionary include:
You’re DTF everyday!
I didn’t wanna date the ho, I was just DTF.
Wiktionary has a more balanced and detailed definition:
(Internet dating) Initialism of down to fuck. (willing to engage in casual sex without necessarily seeking that in particular)
They helpfully included two example uses of their own:
I really want an LTR but I’m DTF if you’re hot and dumb
I asked if he was dtf and he said to be over in 5 minutes
As Wiktionary points out, DTF or not is not a duality.
You may be DTF for someone who meets your characteristics for a hookup but looking for a long-term relationship somewhere else.
Girls, if a DTF encounter is what you are looking for, keep the following 6 rules and tips in mind for a great time:
Don’t be shy about full-length photos; there are guys into all kinds of figures. You’ll both have a lot more fun if you go with a guy who is into the type that you have (and vice versa).
If you go to a guy’s house, make sure that a friend has the address and is waiting for you to text that you are home, safe and satisfied. Be careful who you invite back to your place.
Don’t worry about outdated ideas that men are the ones who are supposed to buy these.
If you are looking for sex, it’s okay to say that in your profile. If you have specific things you like and want from a sexual encounter, go ahead and say that, too. If a guy is put off by your directness, then go ahead and unmatch him. There will be another one who is down to respect your boundaries and desires.
Hookups are hookups. Do not try to turn one into a relationship. Getting emotionally caught up can only lead to misunderstandings and disappointment.
A couple of beers or cocktails to unwind is fine. But, too much to drink can affect your judgment. Besides, you’ll probably enjoy sex a lot more if it isn’t making you motion sick because you had too many Moscow Mules.
When men are DTF and looking for casual encounters, listed are 7 rules and tips that can help ensure your success.
Give her a chance to decide whether she likes you enough to want to let it go a little further. Learn to spot the bots.
It’s okay to let her know that you find her attractive. It’s really hot and fun to compliment her on areas that include things she likes or that she does.
If you want to stand out, you will have to be more different and interesting than the usual, “hey,” or “sup?”
Some women are into it, some are not. Even those who are into it may not be up for it if it is brought up in the wrong way or too soon. A little patience here will make it more likely that you will seal the deal.
Just unmatch and move on. First, you are wasting time and ruining your mood; you’re not going to be charming and fun for the next girl if you are fuming at the last one. And, second, it’s just rude.
Every casual encounter should be as warm and respectful as a long-term relationship.
Hookups and DTF dating have become intractable parts of the current dating culture.
There are, however, a few who are pushing back on some of the implications of DTF.
OKCupid, for instance, has launched a “DTFixDating” hashtag campaign to change the ways that we think of hookups and people who are DTF.
From their point of view, there is not a thing wrong with looking for something casual.
As long as everyone’s safe, it’s okay to have fun with whom you want, when you want.
There is, on the other hand, something super problematic with having poor views of the people who are kind and generous enough to be DTF with you.
While a few blog posts on the site go into very serious discussions about gender roles and the like, the site itself suggests that perhaps adding a few definitions may be key instead.
And, well. I guess we can say they tried:
Since we can all agree that corporate-speak DTF translations are not necessarily adequate and that we still could probably use an alternate to DTF if, well, we’re not D with being asked TF in the first minutes of a conversation, perhaps some other definitions could help. A few starters:
So, you’ve decided that DTF is definitely for you.
Now, how do you go about finding someone who is DTF, too?
5 best DTF Sites for finding a DTF friend tonight:
This is the original and the best known of the hetero hookup apps. The app is free to use, but premium features like “Super Likes” cost extra.
Launched over 14 years ago, this is one of the oldest and best-known dating sites. While it is geared toward long-term relationships, you can also find people here who are DTF for the time being.
The site is free, but there are a few premium features.
This is a meeting sub for redditors who are looking for sexual hookups of a very specific kind. Posts consist of either men or women posting what they are looking for, plus a bunch of “success story” posts from people who managed to meet and have some fun together.
FetLife is not just a dating site; it’s also a social network. If your sexual tastes are a little more offbeat, this might be the perfect place to find a hookup with that kinky someone who is DTF.
Adult Friend Finder (often abbreviated AFF) is one of the oldest dating sites that put an emphasis on sex and hookups over flowers and romance. People who visit here are typically very open about what they are looking for, including encounters of the very casual kind.
One of the great things about the modern age is that we each get to define for ourselves what we want our sex and love lives to look like.
If we are looking for long-term relationships, that’s cool.
If we are only looking for short-term hookups, that’s good, too.
And, if you are the type who likes to ensure that you are properly spoiled by the guys who you spend time with, sugaring is just fine, too.
Whether your sugar daddy dating is full of a lot of first dates or whether you go for ongoing relationships, whether you are DTF your sugar daddies is all up to you.
Some guys are looking for rather chaste arrangements with women who they can take out in public.
They like having a beautiful and impressive woman on their arms.
Others are looking for more intimate arrangements.
In those that are more intimate, some may still wish to wait a bit before dropping their clothes off while others may be up for physical intimacy on a first meeting.
Do what you want and what you are comfortable with.
As with anything, be sensible and cautious while you still have your fun
As long as you are keeping yourself safe, there is nothing wrong with being DTF.
You have the freedom to choose who you F when, as well as who you don’t.
Make your own rules and forge your own way to make an exciting life that is truly your own.
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